This article is based on a conversation with a former OnlyF creator. They declined to be named to protect their identities, but Insider has confirmed their income and previous employment. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
When I was 18, I did things that I thought would make me stronger as a woman, only to feel traumatized as a result. I joined OnlyF. I was only a creator at OnlyF for three years, but looking back, those were the most painful years of my life.
At the time, signing with OnlyF felt like a natural progression. I already post bikini pics on Instagram, so I don’t really feel like posting pics there is much different than posting pics on OnlyF.
I’ve seen other creators talk about how being an OnlyF creator has empowered me and the opportunity to take control of my own life. This all sounds good to me. But that’s not what actually happened.
During my time creating OnlyF, I was more frustrated and anxious than ever. I make a lot of money—really a lot of money, averaging up to $20,000 a month—but I feel like my subscribers are constantly pushing my limits.
No matter what I post, they want more clarity. I ended up sending nudes a few times, even though I didn’t want to because I was stressed out and they were offering so much money. Also, I get horrible messages that are very insulting, and I don’t see any filtering system on OnlyF to stop them.
It was obvious that they treated me more as an object of enjoyment than as a person. It’s horrible to be constantly sexualized to such an inhuman level.
Even though I brought so much money, I spent it quickly. I spend a lot of money to hide my depression and anxiety. I’ve gotten used to this lavish lifestyle, taking offbeat trips to beautiful places and shooting content in new surroundings. Whenever I think: Maybe this is the journey I will be happy with. But that was never true. I have always been the bad guy.
I didn’t grow up with a lot of money. As a kid, I was teased for owning a battered car and a tiny house. I think it made me want to make money and prove myself as an adult. I feel like money will solve all my problems, but it doesn’t.
OnlyF felt like a path to self-reliance, and for a while it was. Money is nice, but it changed my life. I started isolating myself because I was so depressed and out of touch with my family. Because I avoided friends, my friendships started to suffer.
My whole life revolves around creating content and talking to subscribers. I spend at least two hours a day notifying subscribers, and a few hours documenting and editing content. This is a full-time job. I spend at least 8 hours a day on these things and it’s exhausting.
